By Lisa David

Here, at Harlam, we talk often about how here we are the best version of ourselves. For ourselves and for our campers, there is no doubt that this environment, filled with beauty, and connection, and the values that guide our words and behaviors, often brings out our best. I know, for me, it is here that I feel most confident, most capable, stronger and more filled with joy than most places on this earth. Here as a camper, staff member and Director, I have experienced success, I have made lifelong friends and I have embodied a style of leadership that is authentic, strategic, and models integrity.  

 And yet, while I may be the best version of myself, I’m not always at my best. Here is a short list of recent times when I was not at my best at camp:

• Yesterday, when I told others to stop talking during Birkat HaMazon and then moments later returned to the front of the dining hall and turned to the person next to me to share something
• Last night when I was on duty and returned home past 1am and instead of going to bed I ate candy. In bed.
• A few days ago when I didn’t feel like taking the last cart into the kitchen so I pretended I needed to find someone for an important and time sensitive conversation
• Just a few days ago when I was frustrated about a difficult family and shared some unkind words about them to our staff
• The time last summer when a professional disagreement with a colleague resulted in me raising my voice at them, publicly

In Judaism, a phrase we use often to talk about the justice, advocacy and service work we do is “tikkun olam” – translated as repairing our world. In Kabbalistic tradition, this phrase refers to the idea that, when creating the world, G-d formed vessels to hold the Divine Light. As the light began to fill the vessels, they were unable to contain this light and they shattered, sending sparks of light trapped in these shards throughout the world. The task of tikkun olam is the work that humans must do to reunite the scattered sparks of light, to repair the broken world, and finish G-d’s work. 

Similarly, the phrase Tikkun Middot refers to the process of building our own being, our own character. A middah is a measure, a character trait, a desirable characteristic that we hope to integrate into who we are, what we think, and how we behave. Tikkun Middot, is the work that we do to build these traits within ourselves. Just as we might search for the shards of the broken vessel of our world, and through our words and deeds piece the world together, so do we seek out opportunity to build and improve ourselves through life experiences, relationships, conversation and action. And that search, the process, that is the real opportunity that our time here at Harlam provides. 

None of us drive through the gates and are suddenly transformed into a fully-formed person without weakness or room for improvement. We will all have moments this summer where we struggle. Where we make mistakes. Where we realize, sometimes as it’s happening, that we’ve made a bad choice, used the wrong words, disappointed others, and as importantly disappointed ourselves. 

But the beauty of camp is that it is actually all about the process. As we say in Philadelphia: “trust the process”. Tikkun Middot is about building character, and here at camp, I’d like to suggest we also put the emphasis on the act of building. Here, each day presents a new opportunity to be our best. The elements are there – a beautiful setting, caring people, a culture that embraces each of us – growth is possible. Look around you. Really, take a look. The people around you will not always be at their best. Your leaders, your co’s – all of us are building and growing and learning. Have patience. Support and help and guide them. At times, all of us will need that. We will all need help. 

I share this with you not only as your Camp Director, and because I care about your success and growth as staff, but I also share it with you as a parent. My children – well, they are amazing. They are funny, and have wild imaginations, and are totally weird. And they will be here as campers. And despite how incredible I think they are, I also know that they are also not always at their best. Some of you have met them. You know this. Sometimes, often, they don’t listen to directions. One of them will likely refuse to participate in most activities. One of them likes to make others laugh, and sometimes uses poor judgement when attempting to entertain his friends. One of them struggles to make connections. But, they are trying. They are “in process”. They are learning and growing and making mistakes and building the best version of themselves. And you can help them. In a way that I can’t, because you are much cooler and more fun and more interesting to them then me. Your patience, your love, the great care you show them – that is how they will develop into their own best selves. And that is true for every child in your care this summer, not just my own. 

So, be builders this summer. Build yourselves. Build your team. Build up your kids. Work to find Simcha, joy, in the activities each day. Model Achreyut, thinking of others, in your decisions each day. Show Bitachon, confidence, as you lead each day. Be patient with yourself on your journey, and with others on theirs. We are all trying our best, and, through that effort, on many days, in this beautiful and special place, we will be our best. 

Lisa David is serving in her third summer as Camp Harlam’s Director after 15 years as a professional in the field of Jewish Camping. She is a former Harlam camper and staff member, and a proud parent of 3 Harlam campers.