By Lauren “Biebs” Hallenbeck, Arts Co-Supervisor

Sometimes your head and your heart seem to want different things. Sometimes, your head says, “Lauren…Biebs…don’t leave your husband and your ferrets, your comfortable queen-sized bed and your Grey’s Anatomy binge watching just so that you can spend a summer getting bitten by bugs, stuck in an art building that’s approximately seventeen thousand degrees hot, and functioning at about a 65% energy level due to lack of sleep because you’ll volunteer yourself to be a part of some week’s Shabbat service and you’ll be up writing something until two in the morning”…ok, some of those examples might be specific to me, but I think most of you can relate to having apprehensions about giving up 9 weeks of your life to be here. And still, sometimes, if you’re very fortunate, there’s a little voice in your heart that tells you to go out on a limb. Why? Because sometimes when you let your heart lead, you realize that you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Now, I consider myself to be a logical, prudent person. I like efficiency and I like reason; I like things to make perfect sense. When I was asked to consider coming back to Camp Harlam after a 12 year hiatus, it did NOT make sense. I am a well adjusted adult and I’m very comfortable with my routine. But from the very moment someone asked me if I’d consider coming back to camp, that little voice perked up and said, “Biebs, remember the song sessions when you clapped so hard and banged on the tables with such Ruach that your hands hurt afterward?  Remember the stillness of every night and the complete silence save for the chorus of crickets that sung you to sleep? Do you remember what it feels like to be a part of a community of people that supports each other in every moment of every day, lifting each other up.” And my heart said, “Maybe this is right! Maybe the logical, sensible thing isn’t the way to go here and I should explore these sentimental feelings with legitimacy.”

Brian, Lauren and Lisa at the ’95 CIT Banquet

I don’t think that “acting with your heart” just means to be kind and loving to people, though I do think that’s a big part of this Middah and it’s probably what J-Life had in mind when they were creating a list of values to practice with our campers. When we’re kind to others, when we put others needs before our own, we gain something. We gain peace of mind and a sense of accomplishment knowing that we’ve done something good. And there are SO many opportunities to do good here at camp. So it makes sense that we would want to highlight the concept of acting with your heart, being good to people. But I also think that acting with your heart may mean that sometimes we make decisions that don’t outwardly make sense. It was really difficult explaining to my friends why I was choosing to give up the luxuries of independence to come back here this summer. But there’s really no way to explain the joy that I get standing in a circle of people and ending my day in prayer and song. There’s no way to describe the pride I have getting a front row seat to my big sister making Camp Harlam history. And there’s no way to explain that in just two short weeks, I’ve been able to make new friendships that will not only last me through this summer, but certainly well beyond. Those are just things that I feel. I have never once looked back at a time when I acted with my heart over my head in regret. It’s what led me here right now and I could not be happier.

Lauren “Biebs” Hallenbeck began her Camp Harlam journey in 1995. After spending the past four summers working at Harlam Day Camp in Bryn Mawr, she’s excited to be back in the 18058 as the Arts Supervisor! During the school year, she works in the preschool at Congregation Keneseth Israel in Elkins Park, PA.