By Judith Giller-Leinwohl
I haven’t spent a summer at Camp Harlam since 2012, but this summer I’ve returned home to fill the Staff Engagement Supervisor position. It’s been an exhilarating roller coaster so far, and I’m so thankful to say it’s been an absolute delight to return home to Harlam.
Judith in Chavurah, 2007
In November, I reached out to some members of the Harlam Pro Staff team to ask if they’d be willing to create a position that focused on care of staff. To me, supporting Harlam’s staff and Leadership Team through a long, exciting and sometimes frustrating summer is directly in line with my current career goals. I’m in graduate school, studying pastoral care with a goal of working as an interfaith hospital chaplain. I’m especially interested in areas where chaplaincy might not be traditionally present, and a chaplain could be a helpful support. When I reached out to Camp Harlam Pro Staff, I thought it was a reach to assume they’d create a new position. I was happily surprised to hear that a new position didn’t need to be created—-for the last four years a new role, Staff Engagement, has been added to the Leadership Team. The job consists of supporting all staff, especially Camp’s leadership, by providing fun programming, helping to facilitate nights out and days off, and being a resource and presence for tough moments. After getting a little more information about the position, I excitedly applied and started the process of learning what my summer would look like.
I started having “camp nightmares” in January. Recurring dreams in which I showed up, only to be told my hiring was a mistake, that I wasn’t on “the list,” to drive through the main gate to a Camp that looked completely different from what I remembered, plagued me multiple times as I simultaneously eagerly moved toward the summer. My subconscious was telling me what I already knew—I was nervous and I was scared. Scared that Camp wouldn’t feel like the Camp I remembered, that things would’ve changed so much, I wouldn’t even recognize my place in it.
I never expected to return to Harlam for a full summer. From 2001 to 2013, Camp Harlam was my summer home. I was a “Live 10 for 2” kinda kid. I made my way through Camp as a camper, went on the NFTY in Israel trip, completed my CIT summer in 2009 and served as a cabin counselor for two years. I thought Camp had done its job in helping to inform who I was becoming, and while I knew Harlam would always hold an important place in my heart, I didn’t feel like I needed to continue physically being at Camp as I began to prioritize other opportunities during my summer months.
As I nervously drove through the gates on June 9th, I was immediately embraced, physically and metaphorically. So far, this summer has been amazing, already exceeding my expectations. My camp nightmares have ceased, and campers and staff are already changing each other’s lives. I feel part of this place again, and I feel at home. A huge part of that is thanks to the Leadership Team and Pro Staff, who, since day one, have been helping me learn the changes at Camp, and make me feel part of something larger than myself. The only folks I previously knew on the Leadership Team were those I had known as my campers in K’far 2012. Now, they all feel like family. I’m learning from each of them every single day, and they truly walk the walk of inclusion and healthy leadership.
Judith and her fellow staff members from 2012
At the same time, I miss my friends. I’m the only CIT of ‘09 at Camp for the full summer, and while I’m very proud to represent our year, it feels eerie to not see the faces I’ve always associated with our little corner of Kunkletown. I’ve never experienced this place without so many of them. It’s a reminder to me that nothing is “just” anything at Camp. Everything is an opportunity for a memory that can grow and morph into a life-changing moment. As I continue my graduate school education toward interfaith hospital chaplaincy, I often think back to conversations I had with my friends and counselors, how they helped me through my Galil summer, which was only a few months after my mom passed away from cancer. How we would look at the stars and have conversations that I only felt safe having with those people in this place. Camp Harlam is special—it’s host to life changing moments at every turn, and I feel honored to be able to return home to witness it first hand. CITs of ‘09–I’ll see you on Alumni Day. I love you more.
Some of the song session songs are the same, some are different. Some buildings look the same, some have clearly been redone. Some meals are the same (yay pierogis!), some are new (cookie pie for dessert was yummy!). But what is more important to me than the things are the people, and Camp is continuing to change people’s lives, just like they have since 1958. To those of you who have thought about coming back home for a summer after years away, I’ll let you in on a secret. You’re still family and this is still your home. Whether this is my last year on staff or not, I feel so honored and lucky to be part of Camp Harlam’s 2019 summer as Staff Engagement Supervisor. See you next year, maybe?
Judith Giller-Leinwohl has returned to Camp Harlam for her 14th summer. She currently lives in Boston where she is attending Harvard Divinity School. We are thrilled to welcome her home this summer as our Staff Engagement Supervisor.