Where Friends Become Family

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By Lisa David

As you may know, at Harlam our unofficial tagline is “where friends become family.” The shared experiences at camp – the highs and lows, the successes and challenges, the sheer number of hours spent with fellow campers and staff – creates deep connections that aren’t found in your typical friendship. After a year of feeling disconnected and distanced, it has been so amazing to see the way everyone has created these bonds so easily, and to see how much they missed it.

One way we see this play out is through the “inter-generational” connections, like Carmel-Chavurah or K’far-Kineret buddies. This week, these units had their buddy days/nights, where campers are paired off with someone from the other unit, and as always, it was an incredibly impactful experience for all of the campers.

It was so wonderful to see the older kids taking care of the younger ones – showing them around the village, asking them questions about their camp experience, and even having the younger kids “tuck in” the older kids at bedtime. The younger kids have a built-in role model and guide, and the older campers get a taste of how fulfilling it is to care for younger kids. The best part is that these buddy relationships last far beyond the summer – many pairings keep in touch for years to come.

We had another multi-generational experience this week when three Galil campers celebrated becoming  B’nei Mitzvah. They each chose to celebrate this milestone here at Harlam because of the love they feel for this place and the support they get from their community here. While it saddened us that their families were not able to be with us in person, we found a way to “Zoom” them in so that they could be a part of these warm, joyful celebrations where camp friends celebrated the accomplishments of their peers. Everyone sang along during services, and there were tons of joyful hugs and celebrations after – something I know the campers will remember forever. As one parent wrote:

“Emmet has faced a lot of challenges, but after his first summer with you he found a confidence within himself and decided he would only go through with his Bar Mitzvah if it was at Harlam where he felt at home and his best self. Aron and I knew his Bar Mitzvah would be very special, but I was blown away. I just rewatched it and cannot stop crying happy tears. It’s amazing how the kids all come together to support one another and celebrate one another. The campers all sang along every prayer with Emmet and that is something I hope Emmet never forgets. It was truly magical.”

As much as we wish life was just full of joyful moments, one of the things that makes family different from friends is the way that you’re there for each other when things get tough. Sadly, this week one of our campers received a call from his family that a beloved aunt had passed away after a battle with cancer. He was, of course, heartbroken upon hearing the news, but thought he’d feel best if he rejoined camp activities. When our Camper Care staff drove him up to his bunk on a golf cart, his friends could see that he was upset. He joined them, shared a bit about what happened, and they all immediately got up and wrapped their arms around him. They stood together for a while, providing him with comfort and support during an incredibly difficult time. While these experiences are incredibly hard, the bond that forms from campers helping each other through them is a truly special one.

Even blood-related family members get to develop a special bond here – friends don’t just become family here, family also becomes friends. We get to see siblings cross paths at meals and share a quick hug or huddle. We see them cheer for their sibling when they’re up on stage at S’morning, or when they’re leading services. We even have some camper-staff sibling pairs, as well as staff-staff siblings, who have a unique shared experience throughout the summer. It’s wonderful to see how camp has brought these pairs closer together, despite (and also maybe because of) the absence of their parents.

What has become clear to me is that no matter how much or how little campers know each other when they get to camp, they leave with a deep level of caring, appreciation, and love for their fellow Harlamites. If that’s not camp magic, I don’t know what is.

Lisa David is serving in her fifth summer as Camp Harlam’s Director after 18 years as a professional in the field of Jewish Camping. She is a former Harlam camper and staff member, and a proud parent of 3 Harlam campers.